Most of the daily decisions we take, are taken quickly and easily. After all, what world shattering effect can result from a choice of either marmalade or peanut butter on my toast?
When we go shopping, I don’t think it will engage the United Nations in negotiations if I choose washing machine A over washing machine B, will it?
Most of the choices I will make today will be made because “I feel like it”. Why choose marmalade this morning? – well, I just felt like marmalade today. And I choose Washing machine B because all other things being equal, I liked the look of it!
Sales men know that most of our choices are made from a personal angle, and we often make our decision based on an emotional perspective – otherwise why bother with “What’s in it for me?” syndrome.
Usually this works really well, and we are comfortable with our choices and we like what we have chosen. In reality, most of us will make that choice emotionally, and then, if necessary will justify it with facts!
And all this is fine. Except when we use the same principle for more life changing choices. And sometimes it is so difficult to find out what are the right choices – there are so many options open to us. Yet, what we want to have may not be better for us that what we should have.
The Victorians called it ‘duty’ and were big on it; but it’s fallen a little out of favour these days, when we are bombarded with advertising that tells us we can have it all – with nothing to pay until 2015!!
What we need is a way to create real options for our choices for life – we are used to goal setting in our career, and we would never dream of making career choices based on ‘I felt like it’ arguments. For heaven’s sake; we want to make the most of our opportunities, and while filing in the back office leaves me plenty of time for facebook – and I like that; it may not be a wise choice for a life time occupation.
No, when considering career options we like to be smart – we like to set achievable goals with laid out time frames and detailed plans. And yet, when it comes to other part of our lives do we apply the same details principles? Mostly; I fear we do not.
But we should.
We have the option to choose whether to be optimistic or not. We have the power to opt for positivity or listen to the siren voices of negative self-talk. We have made choices about people sometimes before we have even met them, and those choices have affected the way we have responded to them. We may have lost the opportunity of a great friendship because of silly choices.
So while most of our daily choices can be done instinctively, and because ‘I feel like it’; we also need to have the wisdom to realise that such quick options may not always be for our own good.
Understanding the simple principles of choices equal consequences before we make those choices can often make us think again. Learning to come to that understanding can be done either through experience – although this means that we actually do have to learn from past mistakes – and so often we don’t.
Or, we need to learn the simple techniques to apply before making decisions that may have a long term impact on our relationships or our attitudes.
Our Tea and Toast Club have accepted that challenge, and will be covering this topic thoroughly at our next Club Breakfast.
What about you? Are you in Brisbane on the 5th August? If so why not join us and find out the sensible way to make those emotional, instinctive choices.
Then you will be able to say ‘I have thought it through and I feel like it!’
Michele @ Trischel.